I haven't posted because I'm just so busy. I don't mean that in a martyr way, either. I really am so so so busy. Currently I'm keeping a running list in my "notes" app on my iphone. Yesterday I did as much as I could and left the rest and still went to bed too late. Now, that's just too busy. I should be able to start the day without feeling behind. For crying out loud it is 6:30 in the morning and I have already done some things - nurse the baby and have quiet time with my Lord. Even that feels rushed because I'm so busy.
This weekend I had the opportunity to go a retreat for moms. It is called H.O.M.E. (Heart of Motherhood Enrichment). It's just a small affair compared to some of the big named retreats you hear about, but it was such a God-send. A friend and I co-coordinate the Texas Rubies retreat. We needed to go to this retreat because we don't get to re-treat at our retreat!
While I'd love to share with you everything I learned, but there were 5 women who spoke and I just couldn't take the time to write out all my thoughts right now. RANDOM THOUGHT: Vermont Country Blend in the Keurig is sooo good. Let me tell you one tidbit that is on topic with my blog post. While every single woman touched my heart in a special way, it culminated after hearing a testimony of a lady there. Her sister was wheel-chair bound and had spina bifida and came to know Christ at the age of 27, when the lady testifying was about 10 years old. She talked about their learning together and her sister leading her to Christ and had such fond memories of their time together. When her sister passed away a few years ago, she came across a type of journal entry in the back of her bible. It said something to the effect of "Lord, you have made me a Mary instead of a Martha. Help me to be content with that and always be eager to sit at your feet." I had to refrain myself from a full-out bawl. I was loud, I'm sure, and possibly interrupted the ladies around me. Wow. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Here this joyful woman was wheel chair bound as well as a serious student of the Word and yet, she was seeking to have contentment. The woman giving her testimony of the weekend shared that she tries to remember that when she is rocking a baby and thinking that she needs to be doing 50 other things.
At that point I had to excuse myself to the restroom because I just couldn't hold it any longer. :) As I was heading out I started talking to the Lord. "Lord, please give me one nugget that I can use right now. I want to change so much. I have been convicted of so much this weekend. It is overwhelming to think of all the areas I struggle in. Please give me Your word right now that I can stand on and do."
SIDE NOTE: I have never heard the Lord through the radio or out loud or anything like that. I grew up in a charismatic church but I assure you, that has never happened to me and I can't say for sure it does happen to people. I do know this - God speaks and He does it in different ways. Two words immediately came to mind that morning after I prayed. I mean instantaneously. Ones that were not of me, because I didn't agree with them at the time. They were from the Lord and I know that without any doubt.
Slow Down. Those were the words. Slow. Down. Again, even slower this time because He must know that I don't listen very well and would argue with Him. Although I had gone to the restroom because my bladder was drawing me there, I was glad that's where I was headed because I didn't want to have an all-out cry fest in front of 50 women.
Big P listened intently as I try to summarize everything I had learned and what I had heard from the Lord. He acted like he had been trying to tell me all along. See, I don't listen. :( That's what started my list making. I have too much in my schedule and too much in my head to fully enjoy everything the Lord has called me to. We haven't had much of a chance to figure out everything I do and what I can get rid of but I know I need to get rid of something (or some things!).
Bailing is not an option with some of this stuff and I know that some of it, He truly has called me to do, even though it is "extra curricular". Gotta figure it out. Got to!